Literary Haiku

Grim, gray New England / All adulterers receive / Free monogramming ~ The Scarlet Letter Haiku by David M. Bader

Don't ask me how we got started but my friend, Kristin Gray and I are infamous for creating haiku and poems based on our favorite books, especially those in the science fiction / fantasy genre. Others have joined in at times but for the most part, when you see a collection of literary haiku on Live Journal, you can rest assured that the two of us are not far away.

Examples of Professional Literary Haiku

Almost a year after Kristin and I started our haiku silliness Rob and I discovered Haiku U, by David M. Bader. Summing up major literary classics such as the Odyssey, The Confessions of St. Augustine and Sigmund Freud's Interpretation of Dreams in 17 syllables, Haiku U is extremely funny. If you like what you see here, you may want to check it out at www.extremely.com.

Examples of our Literary Haiku

Disclaimer: I have collected all of the poems we have created so far and posted them here. I think it goes without saying that these poems are based on the work of others and does not, in any way, lay claim to ownership to the characters and/or plots that they reference. I should also warn you that we wrote these poems, assuming that our audience had also read the original source material. If you have not read all of the books in the series yet, you may want to watch out for spoilers.

Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern Series

Death rains from the sky
Fragile hopes on dragon wings
Here dawns dragon-kind

~ By Ciarrai

Fire lizards flit
Over the beaches of Pern.
Small dragon cousins.

~ By Kristin Gray

Fly a bronze dragon
Soon Thread will rain down again
Call the Weyr to rise

~ By Ciarrai

Dragons in the dawn
A kitchen drudge watches them
Her future flies in

~ By Kristin Gray

Where are the lost Weyrs?
It is time that they were found
Pern needs its dragons

~ By Kristin Gray

A clue left behind
Ruatha tapestry shows
The way to the Weyrs

~ By Kristin Gray

Gone between in time
Dragonriders come forward
Empty Weyrs echo

~ By Ciarrai

Moreta brings aid
Exhausted, she jumps between
Dragonlady lost

~ By Kristin Gray

Last of Ruathans
Caught between duty and flight
Jaxom chooses both.

~ By Kristin Gray

Dragon fights dragon
Where has the missing egg gone?
Stolen and returned

~ By Ciarrai

Sharp of tongue but kind
Unexpected Impression
Woman rides a green

~ By Ciarrai

Sing Harper girl sing
Music forbidden no more
Your gifts are welcomed

~ By Ciarrai

Little mischief man
Finally accepts his fate
Piemur, Harper for Pern

~ By Kristin Gray

Golden voice no more.
What is to become of me?
Apprentice to Robinton

~ By Ciarrai

Southern Continent
Drummer boy walks it with a
Runner and lizard

~ By Ciarrai

The queens rise to mate
Talons slash both air and flesh
Wirenth goes between

~ By Ciarrai

Awakened in fright
"Don't leave me alone" echoes
In a Harper’s ears.

~ By Kristin Gray

Dragonless Lytol
Guardian to Ruatha
Half his soul is gone

~ By Ciarrai

Tiny egg rocking
Why does no one heed its plight?
He says his name's Ruth

~ By Ciarrai

Digging in Landing
Ancient tools rediscovered
Thread will be no more

~ By Ciarrai

Mechanical voice
The sound of an ancient past
Echoes in the now

~ By Kristin Gray

Harper and machine
Both know when to step aside
There is a season

~ By Ciarrai

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J.k. Rowling's Harry Potter Series

Phoenix feather wand
Brother wand to the Dark Lord's
Is this a message?

~ By Kristin Gray

Lightning star on head
Is legend just for living
Has a destiny

~ By Ciarrai


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JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Road goes ever on
Hobbit released from evil
Bye Bilbo Baggins

~ By Ciarrai

Samwise, faithful friend
Will kill if tries anything
Pervy fancier *

~ By Ciarrai

No dark lord but queen
All look 'pon me and despair. No
I have passed the test.

~ By Ciarrai

Speak friend and enter
Dangers abound in the dark
Poor doomed Moria

~ By Ciarrai

Gandalf fights balrog
"Fly you fools" he cries to them
Falls into darkness

~ By Ciarrai

Used to be hobbit
Now a creature of darkness
Gollum, Ring-bearer

~ By Kristin Gray

Gandalf the Grey thinks
Whilst falling into shadow
"I need some new threads"

~ By Ailuro Dragon

Palantir beckons
Eye of Sauron lurks within
No, Pippin! Don't look!

~ By Ailuro Dragon

Falling from the bridge
Through fire and dark water
Battle the two foes

~ By Kristin Gray

Three stand together
Fellowship not forsaken
By elf, dwarf and man

~ By Ciarrai

* Refers to the Very Secret Diaries of the Fellowship of the Ring.


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Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Dart Series

Melisande was such a pain
She plotted again and again
To topple the throne
With the skills she did hone
For power was her only gain.

~ By Kristin Gray

My blades will guide me
Casseline, full devoted
Both sworn and foresworn.

~ By Kristin Gray

There once was a Casseline Brother
Whose ward was one sexy mother.
Though she's really a perv,
I protect and I serve,
Besides that I really do love her.

~ By Ciarrai

You, mighty being,
Bound and chained beneath the sea
Rahab, vengeful angel.

~ By Kristin Gray

When cast out by Love
Cruelty made her welcome.
Kushiel's Chosen.

~ By Ciarrai

Merry Hyacinth,
Prince of Trav'lers dreams of the
Queen of Courtesans.

~ By Ciarrai


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Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next Series

Thursday stops wedding,
Jane Eyre character helps out.
Isn't that cheating?

~ By Kristin Gray

“Jane! Jane!” Thursday called
Jane thought it was Rochester
Better ending now

~ By Ciarrai

Bookworms are digesting
Words, passing apostrophes.
My po'em lo'ok's we'ird.

~ By Kristin Gray

Cheshire Cat no more...
Now has another long name.
What was it again?

~ By Kristin Gray

Cheshire Cat fades out
From his tail to his smile
Arrogant kitty,

~ By Kristin Gray

"Look at this strange fruit!
Yellow, in it's own wrapper!
I'll pass it around!"

~ By Kristin Gray

Mrs. Havisham
Cannot drive to save her soul.
Get out of her way!

~ By Kristin Gray

Version one point two
She's good rent collateral
Watch out for her egg!

~ By Kristin Gray

Lying man, Jack Schitt
Now he's stuck in Poe's "Raven"
Serves the bastard right.

~ By Kristin Gray

Thursday's Dad's gone rogue
Always dodging Chronoguards
Time waits for no man

~ By Ciarrai

Bad Goliath Corp
All you need - cradle to grave
We hate them so much.

~ By Ciarrai

Stand on one leg please
For Marshmallow goodness
"Plock! Plock!" he replied.

~ By Ciarrai

Where has Landon gone?
He's been eradicated!
Give him back Shitt Hawse!

~ By Ciarrai

Landon is no more
Whose baby am I having?
Maybe Bowden knows

~ By Ciarrai

"Who's my baby's dad?
The real one has been erased.
Whose clothes are these here?"

~ By Kristin Gray

Mom knows I'm pregnant.
But I didn't tell her yet!
Is it Mom-radar?

~ By Kristin Gray

Mammoths migrating
Murder, Coincidence and Cheese
Watch Out Thursday

~ By Ciarrai

Jasper's Ffans are mad!
Writing haikus 'bout Thursday
Oh dear Lord! How weird!

~ By Ciarrai


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Lucy Maud Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables Series

Redheaded orphan
Found a home at Green Gables
Welcome Anne Shirley!

~ By Ciarrai


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Mercedes Lackey's Heralds of Valdemar Series

Forest of Sorrows
Vanyel guards the Borderlands
Herald beyond death

~ By Kristin Gray

First of a new breed
She's sleek, clever and graceful
Zhaneel, gryfalcon

~ By Kristin Gray

Grove-born Companions
Possessed of powers unknown
Gala and Rolan

~ By Kristin Gray

Echoes from Urtho
A wave of power through time
Mages stand ready

~ By Kristin Gray

Magic destruction
Storm warning, rising, breaking
The Cataclysm.

~ By Ciarrai

Vanyel and 'Lendrel
A love tragically denied
Fulfilled in Stefan

~ By Ciarrai

Urtho's skydancer
Gryphon - black, silver and white
Great, vain Skandranon

~ By Ciarrai

Holderkin daughter
Dreams of being a Herald
Becomes the Queen's Own

~ By Ciarrai

Karsite Warrior
A narrow path of honor
The Weapon Master

~ By Ciarrai

Former spoiled brat
At last has a Companion
First new Herald Mage

~ By Ciarrai


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Misc. Books by Dr. Seuss

No. No. Sam, I am
Not for me, Green eggs and ham
Well maybe it is.

~ By Ciarrai

The Whos love Christmas
Nasty Mr. Grinch does not
Heart grows three sizes

~ By Ciarrai

Poor doggie Max
Has to wear reindeer antlers
He doesn't fool me!

~ By Kristin Gray

Poor Cindy Lou Who
Fooled by a Grinch in a beard
Isn't very bright

~ By Ciarrai

To Salla Sallew
Where they never have troubles
At least very few

~ By Ciarrai

And if troubles come
Well, now I carry this club
Ha! Look out, troubles!

~ By Kristin Gray

Embellished Story
I swear that I saw it
On Mulberry Street

~ By Ciarrai

Boy Bartholemew
Cubbins wears fantastic hats
Five hundred of them

~ By Ailuro Dragon


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Misc. Books by Frances Hodgson Burnett

In a garden wall
A mysterious locked gate
Where does it lead to?

~ By Kristin Gray

Sarah's steadfast faith
My father is still alive
A little princess

~ By Ciarrai


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Misc. Books by Judy Bloom

God? It's me, Margaret
Then again; maybe I won't
A fourth-grade nothing

~ By Ailuro Dragon


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Misc. Plays by William Shakespeare

Both mother and aunt
Her marital bed betrayed
Gertrude, Denmark's Queen

~ By Ciarrai

Who are those two guys?
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?
Too late, they're dead now.

~ By Kristin Gray

Ophelia’s gone mad
Rosemary for remembrance
Soon a watery grave

~ By Ciarrai

Deadly prophecies
Causing Macbeth’s destruction
The three weird sisters

~ By Ciarrai

Blood is on her hands
And she can't wash it all off
Obsessive much, hmmm?

~ By Kristin Gray

Atop Dunsinane's crest
Macbeth awaiting his fate
Birnum wood has come

~ By Ciarrai

Merchant of Venice
Demanding his pound of flesh
No blood for Shylock

~ By Ciarrai

Couples all mixed up
Caused by fairy’s meddling
Sounds kinky to me

~ By Ciarrai

Bottom is an ass
Who caught Tatiana’s eye
But SHE thinks he's cute

~ By Kristin Gray

Beatrice, thou hag.
Benedict, thou rump-fed dolt.
I know! Let's get hitched!

~ By Ailuro Dragon

Two star-crossed lovers
Capulet and Montague
All are punished

~ By Ciarrai

From her balcony
"O Romeo, Romeo
O Wherefore art thou?"

~ By Ciarrai

Troublemaking sprite
No ending to his mischief
Robin Goodfellow

~ By Ciarrai

Run through in a duel
Mercutio lies dying
Now quite a grave man

~ By Kristin Gray


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Peter Beagle's The Last Unicorn

The Last Unicorn
Left her lilac woods to find
Others of her kind

~ By Ciarrai

“Damn you” Molly cried.
How dare you come to me now?
But I forgive you

~ By Ciarrai


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Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time Series

Rand, Matt and Perrin--
Those stubborn Two Rivers boys.
Always in trouble.

~ By Kristin Gray

Trollocs roam the land,
Sack, pillage, maim and destroy.
They need some Prozac.

~ By Kristin Gray

She's always right there,
In the middle of it all.
It's all Bella's fault!

~ By Kristin Gray

Braid Tugging Anger
Wisdom turned Yellow Ajah
Beloved of Lan

~ By Ciarrai

Male channelers go mad
But the world needs saving first
Must grow harder still

~ By Ciarrai

Daughter of the Night
Beautiful, deadly Lanfear
She loves Lews Therin

~ By Ciarrai

Perrin Goldeneyes
Blacksmith, Wolfkin, Lord, must choose
The Hammer or axe

~ By Ciarrai

Seer of Visions
Loves a wool headed farm boy
One of the three. Min

~ By Ciarrai


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Sharon Shinn's Angels of Samaria Series

Edori Rachel
Angelica to Gabriel
A slave no more

~ By Ciarrai

Sing Alleluia
Your god still hears your singing
Jovah is revealed.

~ By Ciarrai

The Tooth of Hagar
A woman alone sings prayers
Manna from heaven

~ By Ciarrai


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E.B. White's Charlotte's Web

"Some pig" the web reads
Barnyard spider helps her friend
Wilber and Charlotte

~ By Ciarrai


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William Goldman's The Princess Bride

A peerless beauty
In love with a poor farm boy
"As you wish," he said

~ By Ciarrai

Dread Pirate Roberts:
He never leaves survivors-
Well, just that on time

~ By Kristin Gray

He has starving kids?
Are YOU a rotten liar!
What's the real reason?

~ By Kristin Gray

Why are you smiling?
I know something you don't know
I'm not left handed!

~ By Ciarrai

Land wars in Asia?
It's not as big a mistake
As challenging me!

~ By Kristin Gray

"Goodbye boys" they cried
"Have fun storming the castle!"
I doubt it will work!

~ By Ciarrai

What you do not smell
Deadly iocaine powder
Yes, laugh while you can

~ By Ailuro Dragon

Is the poison here?
Or is it in front of you?
Whoops, it's in both cups!

~ By Kristin Gray

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